What would you do this year if you weren’t afraid of anything? I don’t mean jumping out of an airplane or racing a motorcycle. I mean with your life, your career or your relationships. Each New Year’s Day, I review my journal from the previous year and write my intention for the next 364 days. Last year my journal read, “This year I want to feel. Feel all of it, feel pain and heartache. Feel love and kindness. Feel caring and insecurities. Then, I want to move in Faith.” Boy, did I fulfill that intention, at least the feeling part. Moving in Faith is a process. I am realizing that most of my life I’ve moved in fear. I was afraid that I was inadequate. So I became accomplished. I graduated college at 20, was practicing law at 24, built a law practice, and on and on. I got married for fear of being alone. I was afraid no one would else would ever love and commit to me, so I married the one who would. But, it was even more than that. I hid things in shame. I never really opened up to anyone, even myself. I ran from my authentic self and built a persona that was in line with what I thought the world wanted of me. Certainly, I thought, no one would like the “real” me. As I began to feel, it struck me that everything I’d built because of fear wasn’t really me at all. Fear as a motivator led me off my path. I realized it wasn’t enough to just get up and go. I had to search my motivation, my reason for a chosen path. Was it out of fear? Often I found the answer was yes. It didn’t always seem so at first. Maybe I labeled the fear “anxiety” or “hurt” or “anger” or “resentment”. But, if I sat with the feeling long enough, I came to realize its core was fear. I was afraid I was not enough, wouldn’t have enough or be able to give enough. These were my true motivators. For me, the opposite of fear is Faith. This year I choose to have Faith, to know I am enough, I have enough. I am pretty freakin’ awesome, just the way I am; with all my mistakes and flaws and ill choices. I am amazing. From that knowledge, I shall move through life with ease, even when it isn’t easy. I shall gravitate towards that which brings me Joy (I mean that in every sense of the word) and not be afraid of what may happen. For, in the end, it is all good. Knowing that it is all good; knowing you are awesome; knowing you are loved; knowing that there are only blessings for you no matter how rocky the path to get to them: what would you do with this year? Would you forgive? Would you love the ones who hurt you? Would you give grace in your career? Would you make the life of another better? What do you really want? Do not allow fear to talk you out of your desire. Whatever your desire, from the deepest part of your being, grab it and then GO!
Joy Ragan, Esq., Author Divorce with Joy – A Divorce Attorney’s Guide to Happy Ever After
www.divorcewithjoy.com
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